FEW DAYS AFTER
Morning 7:02am
Mustakeemah’s mother was strolling around Mustakeemah’s room, checking out the room, hoping she could find any secret books or items. After several searches, she finally sighted a note folded under her bed. She hurriedly picked it up and opened it to read.
"As-salamu alaykum to anyone that gets to see this note first. I hope you are fine? And I hope Mum happens to be the first to read it. Mum… I don’t really know how I could explain this to you that you could digest it properly. But before going further to read this note, kindly take a deep breath and open your heart to read this message. Please take a deep breath. I hope you at least could listen to me for the first time by doing as I told. Thank you for taking a deep breath. Now you can continue reading the note.
I love you so much, Mum. At first, I thought you were not my biological mother for never, for once, listening to what I have to say. But I want to use this moment to ask you a few questions through this note you are reading. Kindly have a seat to digest the questions. (She gets seated on her bed). Mum! Are you aware of death? Like, do you ever think a day will come where you won't be in this house anymore? A day you will be left in your grave all alone and be questioned about your deeds. A day the angels will question how you raised us. Do you ever care about the Judgment Day? Where all our acts will be displayed in front of everyone? I am sure this question will make you shiver in fear, but I hope it does, which will really mean you still have a good heart of guilt. Whether you are my biological mother or not, I don’t care anymore. But these questions I asked are what changed me into who I am today, that I choose to obey Allah rather than please people. I fear the day I will sleep and never wake up. I think of the day I will leave the house and never return. I fear my first night in the grave. That’s why I choose this path, Mum. I easily feel guilt of my actions and sins. I fear what if my sins get so huge that it makes Allah so angry that right in this room, thunder just strikes me from nowhere. Covering myself doesn’t mean I covered my future. It doesn’t mean I can't find a good spouse. It doesn’t mean I can't achieve my dream. But ever since I chose to obey Allah s.w.t, my life has gotten better. Although I encounter so many challenges from society and from you, Mum, from my family, but it is written down in the Quran that Allah tests whom he loves, and I accept it as my trial, but I couldn’t take it anymore. Seeing you almost naked me right in front of my siblings for obeying Allah shattered my heart into pieces, Mum. I never imagined I could live a day without being with my parents, but you and Dad tested me beyond I could bear. Even if Dad couldn’t understand, as a mother, you should understand me better than anyone else. I don’t want to slay, I don’t want to wear exposed clothes. I don’t want to wear tight clothes; I feel very uncomfortable in it. And I found peace and freedom in wearing my full hijab. Men now respect me. That’s the beauty of hijab. It closes so many negative doors and opens beautiful doors. I wish you could see what I see, Mum. You never, for once, gave me a listening ear to hear me out, and it hurt so much. I don’t see any reason for you to be ashamed to call yourself my mother because I choose this path. You shouldn’t care about what people might say. We can never satisfy people. People will surely complain no matter what. I wish there are other ways I could open my heart for you to see what I see, Mum. I want my final home to be Jannah, not Jahannam. But not alone, but with you, my siblings, and Dad. This world is nothing but a beautiful lie. We will all die, but we don’t know when our time will be up. That’s why I am living my life as if I won't see tomorrow. Although I’m not claiming to be holy, but I am trying my best to please Allah rather than please people. And ever since Allah guided me, my life has been so amazing, Masha Allah. Islam is so beautiful, but only a few people could see that, Mum. And I want you to be among the few people. If you read this note till this far, it means you are not upset with me anymore. I left because I couldn’t bear the pain you gave me. I am so sorry for leaving, but I have no idea where I am going. But all I wanted is your support and love in this. I don’t want to go astray. I am writing this note with tears. And if truly you gave birth to me, you will understand me better with this note. Masalam."
Her mother closed the note with tears rolling down from her eyes.
Mum: What have I done? (She put the note in her pocket and headed out). Baba Beji!!! Munir!!
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Mustakeemah sits outside the mosque, scratching her head with her dried lips.
Mustakeemah: Wallahi, I am so hungry… I just wish I could find anyone to feed me… or maybe if I could get to work at a restaurant… but no one wants a hijab girl. And I’m starving… I even hope Mustakeem is alright. I haven’t seen him for a day now. I wish I could go find him, but where? (she hisses and sits down, scratching her neck through her hijab) Awwww! My stomach has started again… this ulcer will not kill me. (she bends her head as she rubs her stomach in pain)
Mustakeem: (running towards her) Taiye!! What happened? Are you alright?
Mustakeemah: Where have you been? I was worried. (still groaning)
Mustakeem: I am so sorry, I went to do some work… you must be starving, does your stomach hurt? What about the Hajia, she didn’t offer you any food? (looks worried)
Mustakeemah: Did you bring food for me ni?
Mustakeem: Yes! (he dips his hand inside the poly bag) This is all I could get… (he helps her open the food and offers her a spoon) Here, eat.
Mustakeemah: What about you?
Mustakeem: I will be fine! Just eat!
Mustakeemah: (she doesn’t wait for another second when she grabs the food and begins to dig in like a hungry lion)
Mustakeem: (rubs her head) Sorry I took so long… (he offers her sachet water) Take it easy, don’t rush it… don’t worry, I will figure out a solution to all this soon, okay? I just need you to hang in there for a few more days… we will get out of here soon. I want us to travel back to Kwara State.
Mustakeemah: (focuses on the food while nodding her head)
Mustakeem: (takes a deep breath and stares at the sky) I never knew our parents could be this cruel without bothering to check up on us… what kind of parents does that… isn’t it better we don’t have parents at all? Kai! (lost in thought)
Mustakeemah: Everything will be fine soon, I believe in Allah… I was even thinking of finding a job today, but my hunger won’t let me. I will start the job hunting from tomorrow, insha Allah. (notices he wasn’t listening) Kenny!
Mustakeem: (startled) Ehn?
Mustakeemah: What are you thinking so deeply about?
Mustakeem: Nothing jare, just thinking about a friend of mine… I just hope she is fine…
Mustakeemah: You mean your girlfriend? Like you have a girlfriend?
Mustakeem: See, leave me jor, who has time for any girlfriend… I am worried about us.
Mustakeemah: Okay oh… (licks the plate) I enjoyed this rice.
Mustakeem: Kukuma eat the take away now.
Mustakeemah: Do you want to insult me now?
Mustakeem: You know that won’t take me a second… eating like someone is chasing you.
Mustakeemah: (hits him) Are you trying to mess with me now?
Mustakeem: Ahhhh! Finally, she smiles after all these days… this feels so good.
Mustakeemah: (realizes her smile) Thank you so much, Mustakeem, you are the best gift Allah has given me. Thank you so much for never leaving my side and for always supporting my choice.
Mustakeem: (patting her back) It's okay… What are we twins for? We came into this world together, on the same day. So any obstacles that want to attack you have to pass through me first.
Mustakeemah: I love you so much.
Mustakeem: Ogbeni, shut up jor! You want people to think that I’m your habiby or Habibah or whatever you guys call it… Don’t ever say that to me again.
Mustakeemah: (chuckles and increases her tone) I love you so much, Mustakeem!
Mustakeem: (hurriedly covers her mouth) Why you no dey hear word bayi?
Mustakeemah: (bites his hand) Abi your girlfriend's house dey close to here ni? I love—
Mustakeem: (covers her mouth again) Na slap you go collect now… Shebi you done chop… Na slap remain.
******************************
Later in the evening
Rashidat: (peeks through the window, trying to see who is opening the gate) Wait a minute! The police? What is the police doing here? (feeling uneasy) Why is the police coming to our house? I better hide.
An hour later
Ridwan: (sneaks into the house and bumps into Rashidat) Yo! You startled me! Can't you watch where you're going?
Rashidat: (still feeling uneasy) I saw a police officer at our house this evening! (swallows nervously)
Ridwan: A police officer?
Rashidat: Yes!
Ridwan: And what about it? Did you do anything that would make the police come after you? And why are you sweating like that?
Rashidat: I had to hide inside the room for an hour before she finally left.
Ridwan: She? Oh! (taps his face) You are such a clown. (chuckles) Is that why you are like this? Better compose yourself and don’t harm my child. I am so tired, so please, I need some quiet moment.
Rashidat: So, you're not going to do anything about it? You're just going to leave me here?
Ridwan: Why would I do anything about it? Didn’t you see the police officer’s face?
Rashidat: Nooo! She covered her face with a cap.
Ridwan: Please, I don’t have time for this, please…
Rashidat: Are you just going to leave me in the dark?
Ridwan: That is my wife, okay? And stop panting heavily for crying out loud. (He heads into the room, while she follows him)
Rashidat: (jaw drops) Your wife? Is a police officer? Wait now! (suddenly pauses when she sees Zainab coming out of the room)
Ridwan: (also pauses)
Zainab: (noticing the two of them) Welcome, sir. (She bows her head and heads straight to the kitchen)
Ridwan: Is that how you welcome me? No taking my bag or anything?
Rashidat: (hurriedly takes his bag) I will help you with that.
Ridwan: (exhales softly and heads inside, while she follows him)
Rashidat: I am really starving, baby. I haven’t had anything since morning, could you believe that? Zainab couldn’t even prepare any food for me to eat.
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Late in the night
Knock at the door
Zainab: Who is it?
Ridwan: Can you come out? I need to talk to you. And why do you keep locking the door? This is my house, remember?
Zainab: (rolls her eyes and gets up to open the door) What is it?
Ridwan: Why are you doing this? You prepared dinner and couldn’t even join us to eat… you couldn’t even serve me.
Zainab: Shebi your bride is with you. You said I prepared dinner, so why must I serve you when she has taken my place in the house?
Ridwan: What are you saying? It is you that I want.
Zainab: Oh please! Enough!
Ridwan: So, you are now shutting me up! Uh? Really?
Zainab: (takes a deep breath) What exactly do you want me to do for you, sir?
Ridwan: Come join us at the dining table and serve my food.
Zainab: (walks past him and heads to the dining table, acting like Rasheedat wasn’t there while she begins to serve his food)
Ridwan: (takes his seat and can't stop glancing at her while Rasheedat watches) Why are you serving my food with so much aggressiveness?
Rasheedat: When you are done, come serve me as well.
Zainab: (furiously raises her eyebrows at her, which scares Rasheedat) Is that all, sir?
Ridwan: Sit with us and have your dinner.
Zainab: I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not hungry.
Ridwan: Why?
Rasheedat: Abi you poisoned the food.
Ridwan: (roars her name) RASHEEDAH!
Zainab: It's actually not her fault, though. It's all mine. Please excuse me. (She heads back to her room and slams the door behind her)
Ridwan: (glances at Rasheedat) What is your problem? Uh? Ever since you entered this house, you bring nothing but chaos! Are you trying to compete with my wife in this house? You better know your place.
Rasheedat: Well, you think I’m just gonna sit here and address her as your wife? Then what am I? I'm the one carrying your child here! I'm the one sacrificing my body just to bear you a child!
Ridwan: Oh, shut up! Shut up! What is your problem? What have you done that other women aren't doing? Uh? See! If you don’t respect her in this house, you and I will have a big problem. A big one!
Rasheedat: I don’t even know you anymore! You’ve changed so much just because of her… Ridwan, this isn’t you!
Ridwan: Maybe you don’t know me at all in the first place! You should be grateful to her she let you stay under this roof with her… Other women won’t tolerate that because even you can't tolerate it. If you don’t respect her as your senior in this house, I don’t think I can ever have you legally under this roof.
Rasheedat: Just make it clear to me that you are just using me. No! Say it! I never knew this is the real you. (about to cry) I regret getting pregnant for you again… And you know if I curse you with this child, you won’t escape it… You know, abi? (breaks down in tears) You should better say it in my face that you hate me so much that you don’t care about us.
Ridwan: (exhales softly and drags his chair closer to her) I am sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you… I swear I didn’t mean to say all that… Please stop crying, okay? Please, my dear.
Rasheedat: Leave me alone, ooo! Since all you care about is your precious wife while you are starving me of love, you are starving your child as well.
Ridwan: I am really sorry. I didn’t mean it, I swear. Oya, stop crying now. (He wipes her tears) Oya, eat. I will serve you myself.
Rasheedat: No, I don’t want to eat her nasty, ugly food.
Ridwan: Seriously? Ok, what do you want to eat?
Rasheedat: And since when did you care… I will sort myself out… (she tries to get up, then he drags her back to the chair) What?
Ridwan: Honestly, I didn’t mean to hurt you, please… You know I love you now… Please.
Rasheedat: Really?
Ridwan: Yes.
Rasheedat: Hmmmm… Ok then, get me the Hollandia milk from the freezer… That’s what I’m craving for.
Ridwan: Is that all?
Rasheedat: With plantain chips.
Ridwan: Coming right up! (He gets up and rushes to the kitchen)
Rasheedat: (wipes her own tears and smiles)
Zainab: (sees everything as she peeps through her door, she closes the door and rests her head against it while she gently slides down to her knees and breaks down in tears silently) See how he is treating her… This hurts more than I could ever imagine… Ya Allah! Please don’t test me more than I can bear, but I can’t watch my husband giving his attention to another woman… I know he is entitled to four wives, but it's hard to watch… Grant me more ease to endure this trial until my own prayer is answered. Grant me enough sabr, ya Allah. (sobs bitterly)
*************************************
Abu: (clears his throat) As-salamu alaykum? Habibah! Can I come in?
Habibah: (hurriedly sits up immediately upon hearing his voice, feeling uneasy) Wa alaykum salam wa rahmatullah, sir… Yes, yes, sir!
Abu: (takes a deep breath, then bends his head and enters the room. At first, he is speechless, just staring at her for a while, realizing she isn't comfortable with his presence as she stares at the ground and squeezes herself into the wall. He exhales softly and sits on the floor opposite to her) How are you doing?
Habibah: (scared and shivering) Alhamdulillah, sir! I am fine, sir.
Abu: (sadly looks down) You don’t have to be scared of me. I am your father, okay? I won’t harm you.
Habibah: (suddenly breaks down in tears and falls to her knees) Abu, please forgive me. I didn’t mean to disappoint you after all your efforts to guide me on the right path… I promise to change for the better. Please, just don’t harm me again, please, sir.
Abu: (her statement melts his heart) I… I… (finds it hard to say sorry) You know what? We will go through this tough time together, okay? I just want you to feel comfortable around me… I am your father, and I will never, ever harm you again.
Habibah: (realizes he is calm with her for the first time in her life, then she raises her head in disbelief) Sir?
Abu: Come here. (He opens his arms to her) Come here.
Habibah: (can't believe her eyes, for the first time in her life her father opens his arms to embrace her. It feels like a dream to her as she can't control the flow of tears from her eyes) Abu?
Abu: Yes, my baby.
Habibah: (shocked) He even called me his baby? (thinking)
Abu: C’mon, don’t keep me waiting.
Habibah: (without any further hesitation, she flies into his arms and breaks down in tears, crying like a baby) I am so sorry, Abu, for everything. I am really sorry.
Abu: (embraces her into his arms) It's okay. I am here now, and I promise we will overcome this trial together, okay?
Ummu: (stands by the door with the rest of the children, unable to control her tears either)
Abu: Stop crying, okay? We will face our challenges, and I promise to guide you well and help you see the beauty of Islam in a positive light if only you are ready to learn this time around with your full heart.
Habibah: Yes, yes, yes!!! I want to, and I will. I promise, Dad… I promise. (She can't control her tears, but suddenly she feels uneasy and quickly frees herself from his arms and runs into the bathroom, where she begins to vomit, leaving him speechless and confused. Immediately, her mother barges in, also shocked by the act and raises her eyebrows in disbelief)
Ummu: Habibah!!
Abu: Why are you shouting her name like that? She is just vomiting now… maybe she doesn’t feel well due to lack of eating and all. Right?
Ummu: (still unable to believe her eyes as she stares at the bathroom door) Habibah!! La ilaha illallah!