DAD: So, you thought you could return to that wayward life and we wouldn't find out? Huh?
MUM: What happened, Baba Beji?
DAD: Ask her! This girl came to expose her. Take a look at this picture! That's her... after all our warnings, huh? [Dad is about to pounce on her] As for you, dear, thank you. We will take care of this. You can go home now. Thank you so much.
MUM: So, you were only pretending to dress normally at home and chose this life outside, huh? On your knees! Today! I will make sure to give you a mark you will show your next generation.
MUSTAKEEMAH: Mum, please... I'm sorry, please... Daddy, please...
DAD: [He removes his belt from his trousers and shuts the door behind him] You are dead today!
Back to reality (2:01 AM)
MUSTAKEEMAH: [Jumps out of bed, panting heavily] A'uzu billahi minash shaitanir rajeem! Ya Allah!! [Trying to catch her breath] Oh my God! [Sweating all over her body] Ya Allah, please, I don’t want my parents to find out about my path of life... Please help me out? I thought it happened for real? Is this a warning? [Still panting heavily and begins to recite her adhkar].
Daybreak (6:50 AM)
ZAINAB: [Opens the door with a sad face] Welcome home.
RIDWAN: Thank you... sorry I couldn’t call to say I wouldn’t be home for the night. I was occupied with work and...
ZAINAB: It's okay, I understand. Come in.
RIDWAN: [Scans her face] You're not going to question me?
ZAINAB: [Nods her head] You must be starving. First, take a shower, then I'll quickly prepare breakfast.
RIDWAN: [Still staring at her] Why didn’t you call me last night, despite not seeing me at home?
ZAINAB: [Smiles] I guess you must have been so busy you couldn’t even check your phone. Come on... [She takes his bag and tries to unbutton his shirt] You must be exhausted.
RIDWAN: [Touches her hand] I'm sorry.
ZAINAB: [Smiles] It's okay. Our decisions in life are by choice. So come on!
RIDWAN: [Follows her in and notices she slept on the couch]
ZAINAB: There you go. I have prepared the shower. [Moves closer to unbutton his shirt] At least I'm glad you are back home. That’s all that matters.
RIDWAN: Yeah! I am happy to marry an understanding wife... [He heads straight to the bathroom]
ZAINAB: [Watches him disappear from her sight, then sits on the bed and rests her head on her knees for a minute, then gets back up and heads to the kitchen]
30 minutes later
RIDWAN: [Going through his phone while his wife dresses for work, then he puts the phone down and watches her for a while before speaking] Why aren't you worried that I slept outside without coming home? Don’t you even think I might be at a hotel with a lady?
ZAINAB: [Smiling, she turns to him] Well, because I know that isn’t where you were.
RIDWAN: How do you know?
ZAINAB: [Smiles] I just know that isn’t where you were because I trust you now. But if you choose to be with your mistress next time, it is also your choice, though.
RIDWAN: Why are you so cold towards me these days?
ZAINAB: [Smiles] No, I’m not... [She sits next to him] I just don’t want to add to your pains. You're not happy because I couldn’t give you a child yet, and I felt maybe you wanted to be alone for a while, and I understand that you needed your private time.
RIDWAN: [Exhales softly] I actually wasn’t at the hotel... I slept at my office.
ZAINAB: I know.
RIDWAN: Why are you saying you know? You didn’t even know where I slept?
ZAINAB: [Smiles] I was so worried about you last night that I couldn’t sleep. I had to take a cab to your office, and your security man said you instructed him not to go home. And I asked why, then he said... you were spending the night at the office, and I saw your office light was on. I also saw your shadow as you rested your back on your chair. That’s when I realized you needed some time alone. I know these days, I will really disgust you. In fact! You wouldn’t even wish to set your eyes on me. That's men's hormones that I studied. Not only women have mood swings. So, I understand.
RIDWAN: [Stares into her eyes for a while, then embraces her] Thanks for understanding me. I thought you were going to make a scene when I got home for not coming home, but you proved me wrong. Thank you so much for understanding.
ZAINAB: There is nothing to be thankful for. You might choose to be with your mistress next time.
RIDWAN: Are you predicting?
ZAINAB: Yes, so I won’t be hurt too much by you. And I just hope you will realize one day that I am enduring this because I love you. I don’t want to lose you, but it is your choice whether you want me or you want to start over with someone else. But I just want you to understand that... if I had the power to give you a child right now, I would. And I will do anything to make you happy. But the moment you realize I don’t even bring you happiness again and you choose to find it elsewhere, it is also your choice to make. [Smiles]
RIDWAN: Why are you putting a touch of threat in your statement?
ZAINAB: I'm not! Look, I'm getting late for work... I really need all the energy I could gather today because I have a criminal to deal with today.
RIDWAN: Officer! Don’t threaten me, oh!
ZAINAB: [Chuckles] I'm not threatening you now... relax your mind. You are my one and only crown and the only man that can control me after my father. So... I think I'm ready for work. You look really exhausted. Why don’t you rest at home today? I promise to come back early and prepare your lunch.
RIDWAN: Like you know what's in my mind... Make sure you lock the door behind you. I don’t want anyone disturbing my beauty sleep.
ZAINAB: Alright, sir. [She moves closer to him and gives him a kiss on his forehead, then kisses behind his hand as well] Bye, my king.
RIDWAN: [Bright smile on his face] You brighten up my day every time you kiss my hand... makes me feel like an angel.
ZAINAB: [Waves at him with a bright smile on her face]
RIDWAN: I love you!
ZAINAB: I love you too. [She shuts the door]
RIDWAN: [Sighs heavily] Now I'm in the midst of confusion. What am I going to do about my life?
ZAINAB: [Enters her car and rests her head as she sighs heavily] He thinks all that matters is how he's currently feeling right now? He only cares about himself and not how I feel... but I expected it anyway. I just need to stay strong and face this trial. He doesn’t even realize he is changing towards me. [Starts the car] I will face it. [Wipes the tears that are about to roll down from her eyes] Why am I crying again? Everything will be fine.
Few days later
HABIBAH: What is it this time? To threaten again? Look, girl... you are messing with me and I will fuck you up! Trust me because you are getting on my nerves already.
MUSTAKEEMAH: Shhhhh! Don’t say that... a Muslim shouldn’t use bad words. Look, I know I messed things up between us, and it was really foolish of me to threaten you a few days ago. I am here to apologize to you for the pain I have caused you. I don’t want us to part this way. It was so stupid of me to think that doing that would change your mind. [She knocks her head] I am sorry, I deserve it! Please find it in your heart to forgive me. I really mean well.
HABIBAH: [Exhales softly] Good for you that you realize you are stepping on my toes already because you had no idea of the attack that is coming for you. But since you apologized, we are cool again.
MUSTAKEEMAH: Thank you so much. Can I hug you?
HABIBAH: No hugging! We are done, right? Now get out of my way and we should never meet again.
MUSTAKEEMAH: You know that is not possible. Please! I want to be your friend... and I really mean well.
HABIBAH: Well, guess what? I don’t want to befriend someone like you. I already have friends!
MUSTAKEEMAH: Don’t you feel strange about how people judge you and see you?
HABIBAH: I don’t care about what people say... you receive the same criticism from people, just your own case is quite the opposite, but still! I don’t care!
MUSTAKEEMAH: What if your parents found you like this one day? Because whether you like it or not, the truth can't be hidden from them forever.
HABIBAH: Same goes for you! You can't hide this whole thing from them forever. How would you handle it? Leave mine alone! Even if it's them disowning me, I don’t care... I just want to live my dream life. And I will leave their lives if that’s what they want.
MUSTAKEEMAH: Don’t say that, please... Your parents love you and they want the best for you.
HABIBAH: Same goes for you as well... They love you and they want the best for you. That’s why they don’t want you in this garment of a thing... They want you to see the beauty of this world... and covering yourself with this won’t help you. The earlier you realize it, the better.
MUSTAKEEMAH: [Takes a deep breath] Well... this is going to be harder than I thought... No word I will give to motivate you that you won’t use against me as well... Then how can I ever get to change your mind?
HABIBAH: Same goes with me... how can I ever get to change my mind too?
MUSTAKEEMAH: [Cuts in] Get to change my mind too... I got it now! But I don’t want to watch you going astray. You have more Islamic knowledge than I do, but still, you choose to leave it. Why?
HABIBAH: You have the civilized knowledge, but you choose to leave it too, why?
MUSTAKEEMAH: Because it isn’t the right path for me.
HABIBAH: Same here.
MUSTAKEEMAH: This world is nothing but a beautiful lie... The Shaytan has won your heart... he is only deceiving you.
HABIBAH: Same here.
MUSTAKEEMAH: [Getting pissed off] Seriously? Why are you doing this?
HABIBAH: Same here! Why are you doing this? Look! There is nothing you can do to change my mind... nothing! It has been made up already, and I don’t care if you report me to my parents... there is nothing they can do about it.
MUSTAKEEMAH: [Feels sorry for her] This must be really hard for you. You know what? I am ready to give you a listening ear... I want to hear the whole story on why you choose to leave Islam for these worldly affairs... What happened? Please tell me... maybe it can change me to be like you as well.
HABIBAH: [Stares at her for a few seconds] My parents make life hard for me that I regret being born into that family.
MUSTAKEEMAH: How? They beat you?
HABIBAH: More than that!
MUSTAKEEMAH: What happened?
HABIBAH: Ever since I was five, I started performing solat and reciting the Quran. I was on the path of Islam and all... but my parents, especially my dad, is so strict! I was emotionally drained by him... Do you know? Anytime my dad is around, me and my siblings always lock ourselves in our rooms because we are so scared of him. Any little mistake we make... he beats the hell out of us without correcting us in a good way. Like now, when we are reading the Quran after Fajr, the tajweed because he is our ustaz... he never allows us to associate with any non-mahram to prevent us from committing zinah. Do you know, every morning that I wake up, I wish I never wake up because he will be the one to wake us up banging at the door for solat... The moment you doze off again, he is ready to break down the door and drag you out of the room and beat the hell out of you. Now, to the next one... After Fajr, my dad doesn’t believe in mistakes... When me and my siblings recite the tajweed and you make a single mistake like this, you are dead! He will use a hot slap to reset your brain... he never corrects with calmness. That’s not all, oh... In fact, that’s just the beginning...
MUSTAKEEMAH: [Jaw drops] What about your mom?
HABIBAH: She has no power in the house... Her duty is to take care of the family... The moment my mom tries to involve herself while he is dealing with us... he transfers the aggression onto her that we feel pity for her.
MUSTAKEEMAH: Does your dad hit your mom as well?
HABIBAH: No! He always restrains himself... but he is ready to insult the life out of her... My family is nothing but a dark tunnel because ever since I was born into that family, me and my siblings never find peace in this religion called Islam. Imagine if I fell asleep or chose not to leave what I was doing while hearing the adhan? And my dad found me still doing that thing? It’s a slap that he will use to remind us. He puts fear into our hearts that we are scared to make any mistakes. He makes sure we never lack anything... He doesn’t even care if you fail in school, but you see anything that has to do with Islam? You must be perfect. How do you expect me to be happy and not fight for my freedom?
MUSTAKEEMAH: Well... now I understand why you changed so much... But the fault isn’t Islam but your dad's. His harsh upbringing is the problem, not Islam... There is more to Islam than that... Islam is peaceful... but your dad isn’t. Although he wants the best for you, he is taking it too far by being too mean. He should use a softer way to make you embrace Islam in peace and not that way. He loves you guys, but the fault is in his hands, not Islam.
HABIBAH: You don’t understand anything.
MUSTAKEEMAH: Wallahi, I do.
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