Taiye: Kenny, where did you drop my pink underwear?
Kehinde: Check where you kept it now. Why asking me? See me see trouble o!
Taiye: I can’t find it where I dropped it, which is why I’m suspecting you took it.
Kehinde: See, Taiye, I’m not up for this drama this afternoon. You’ve started again, oh. When I’m minding my business, no one sees. But when you’re looking for trouble, it’s me!
Taiye: Kenny! Bring out my pink underwear right now, or else…
Kehinde: Or else what?
Taiye: You know what? Can I see the underwear you’re wearing right now? Why am I even asking—let me just check. (tries to move closer to her)
Kehinde: What are you doing? Taiye, are you alright? Are you trying to naked me? Abi which kind wahala be this? Why did I even have you as a twin, sef?
Taiye: (struggles to lift her skirt) Stay still! I must see what you’re wearing. Because if I find my underwear on you, ahhh Kenny, I will deal with you today!
Kehinde: Leave me alone! (they begin to fight) I said leave me alone! Ehn, I will beat you o!
Idowu: (barges into their room) They’ve started again with their wahala. Sisters, please, can’t you two behave mature for once?
Taiye & Kehinde: (pause immediately, still squeezing each other’s shirts) Who called you? Will you get out of our room? Did we invite you into our matter?
Idowu: Yes, you did! Mum is tired of your childish play—all the time!
Kehinde: (lets go of Taiye and faces Idowu) If you don’t get out of here right now, I will slap the hell out of your face.
Taiye: Are you deaf? When elders are talking, you mind your business. Don’t you have manners? You know what—just get out now!
Idowu: Fine! I’m leaving. (slams the door in their faces) Continue fighting!
Taiye: Mannerless girl.
Kehinde: See her big head.
Taiye: (faces Kehinde again) So, as I was saying… you must remove my underwear!
(They begin fighting again, struggling to free each other’s hands from their necks.)
---
Abdulhakeem’s Room
Abdulhakeem: (busy reading his books when he hears a knock) Yes, come in.
Idowu: Big brother, Sister Taiye and Kehinde have started again o. They even hit me when I tried to stop them, and mum is taking a nap in her room…
Abdulhakeem: (sighs heavily) Dear Lord! Why don’t these girls have common sense? Go and tell them that if I come there, they won’t like my actions.
Idowu: Big brother, I told you they hit me when I tried to stop them. And now you want me to go back there and warn them? They will just kill me this time around. Please, you’re the only one that can reset their brains.
Abdulhakeem: (angrily gets up and heads out) Move out of my way!
*******************
Taiye: Thief! That was how she stole my scarf the other day, now you want to steal this one. Not on my watch, because Dad bought it for me, and I’ll report you to him.
Kehinde: You are very stupid and senseless. Are you the only one Dad bought this type of underwear for? Or have you forgotten he bought it for the two of us? Why are you so senseless like this?
Abdulhakeem: (silently watching them) Are you two done fighting and yelling at each other?
Taiye and Kehinde: (startled)
Taiye: Sir? (scratching her head) Big brother, it’s not what you think oh. It was Kehinde that stole my underwear.
Kehinde: Big brother, don’t mind her oh. I didn’t steal any of her things, she’s lying on me. The underwear is mine.
Abdulhakeem: When will you two have sense in your lives? Can’t you behave like normal human beings for once? Today fight, tomorrow quarrel. You girls aren’t kids anymore, you’re 16 years old. Your younger sister came to stop your stupidity and you chased her away? When will you learn to lead by example? Honestly, you two don’t have sense at all. Now, here is your punishment for bringing chaos into this house.
Taiye: Please brother, I’m sorry. It won’t repeat itself again.
Kehinde: Please sir, don’t punish us. We promise not to fight again.
Abdulhakeem: This is not your first time promising. You’ve done it a hundred times, and I’m not a fool. Now, take your two big heads straight to Mum’s room and kneel down, hands up, eyes closed, until she wakes up.
Taiye and Kehinde: Ahhhh! Big brother, don’t do that please. What if Mum wakes up? She’ll kill us for disturbing her beauty sleep.
Abdulhakeem: That’s your punishment. Now get up this instant!
Taiye and Kehinde: Big brother please, we promise not to do it again.
Abdulhakeem: I said! (he yells angrily)
Mum: What’s going on here? (she enters the room) What happened? Abdulhakeem, why are you yelling?
Taiye: Nothing ma… abi Kehinde?
Kehinde: Yes, nothing ma.
Abdulhakeem: (angrily staring at them)
Idowu: Mummy, they were— (before she completes the statement, the twins quickly cover her mouth)
Mum: What exactly is going on?
Abdulhakeem: Nothing, Mum. Honestly, being the only son in this house is pissing me off. (he leaves the room)
Mum: Ahhh! What brought that one? Abdulhakeem! Anyway… who among you left her pink underwear at the corridor? In this country that’s risky! How many times have I warned you two to dry your undies in the bathroom?
Kehinde: Which undies?
Mum: (she displays it) This one of course. Who owns it?
Kehinde: (angrily staring at Taiye)
Taiye: (embarrassed smile) I think it’s mine, ma.
Mum: (she throws it at her face) Try that again next time. (she walks out of their room while Idowu follows her) So Abdulhakeem, what were you saying?
Kehinde: (furious with anger)
Taiye: (staring at the ground) Uhmmm…
Kehinde: Did you see what you’ve caused? You’re the worst sister ever! See how you lied on my head, and now see who’s lying. You know what? I hate you so much. Get out of my way jor, nonsense! (she pushes her)
Taiye: I’m sorry now… Kenny!
*********************
Later in the night…
Mrs. Shola: Hey! You! Go and buy drugs for me, my baby is running a temperature. Only God knows what you put in her food.
Mustakeemah: (drops her mopping stick and checks the time) But ma, this is past 11pm already. It’s late, ma.
Mrs. Shola: I said my daughter is sick and you’re talking nonsense? Are you mad? Don’t let me pour my anger on you tonight, because I don’t have time for your pep talk. Take this money and buy the drugs written on this paper. Hurry up!