Tunde: Alright, sir.
Junaid: [Looks around] This place ain’t that bad.
Jamil: You also notice… especially the store… filled with noodles and spags… like, how many are there like that?
Jamiu: It’s not that plenty now… just 250 cartons of noodles and 100+ spaghetti. It’s just that… anyways, we thank God sha.
Anas: [Sits up] Want to talk about it?
Jamiu: No… not really. So tell me, what brings you guys to my shop? Am I having a query or something?
Junaid: I wish…
Jamil: But it isn’t… we are just here to check on you, bro.
Jamiu: We lived together since the beginning of our lives… so tell me, what exactly brought you here? We will still meet at home.
Anas: That’s true. But do we, though? We live together but barely meet eye to eye for a week.
Jamiu: That’s because we have a family to feed.
Jamil: On point.
Junaid: And that’s why we are here for you.
Jamiu: [Still confused] Wait… let me check the calendar. [Carries his phone] Is today my birthday or… mom’s memorial?
Jamil: We are just here for you… for us. We have no one but us.
Jamiu: Just like that?
Anas: Yeah… just like that.
Junaid: Wait! Why do you find this hard to believe?
Jamiu: Well… because the last time you guys gathered on my head, it was to query me about Zainab… for losing her, and it wasn’t intentional. I could never forget that day… and I was sorry.
Junaid: Does it change anything?
Jamil: [Glances at Junaid] Ehh! Nigga, shut up.
Junaid: I’m a man… I have a name, not “nigga.”
Anas: [Punches him softly] You always take things for granted… your wife is trying, oo.
Junaid: Actually, that’s the most habit she loves about me…
Jamiu: Poor woman… see, if you are here to distract me, then you need to go. I’ve got a lot on my desk. [Picks up his pen]
Jamil: And you think we came here, leaving our work, to come spend time with you was a joke?
Jamiu: [All eyes on him, then drops the pen] Then why are you all here? Let’s go straight to the point.
Anas: We are here for you… we’ve all been distant for the past 10 years… more like the picnic was our fun moment together… who else remembers that picnic?
Junaid: Yeah!!! I did… I can never forget that day… the day his wife left him. [Chuckles]
Jamil: [Glances at Junaid] That is not funny!! At all… and you need to stop doing that. You are a grown-ass man… how old are you? 42 or 40?
Jamiu: [Lowers his gaze and says nothing]
Anas: Abu twins… well… I am here to check on you, your business, your hustle, and well-being.
Jamiu: [Drowns into depression instantly and says nothing]
Jamil: [Steps on Junaid on purpose and whispers aggressively] Fix your mess! Fix it!
Junaid: Alright, fine! Abu twins… look, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean it like that. I shouldn’t have said that because we are human and mistakes happen. If I happened to be in your shoes, I would do more than that… I just don’t know why I tried to make jokes out of serious matters. But my intentions weren’t to hurt you. I’m truly sorry.
Jamiu: [Finally raises his head] It’s okay… [Wipes his face] Thanks for coming.
Anas: Do you miss her?
Jamiu: I don’t want to answer that.
Anas: Maybe this can help you heal… I promise we will never be judgmental.
Jamiu: I can’t express myself in your midst when I will be made fun of in a second.
Junaid: [Smirks] Well… I messed up once as well… that I… [Exhales heavily] lost my son in the process…
[Everyone glances at him in shock]
Jamil: What do you mean?
Jamiu: Yeah… what do you mean? Did you lay hands on your pregnant wife?
Junaid: What? No! I would never… look at who is speaking! Didn’t you beat Zainab?
[Crickets take over the room]
Junaid: Well… as I was saying… I didn’t hit my wife, and I will never do that… I kind of cheated on her as well…
Jamil and Jamiu: What?
Anas: Interesting.
Junaid: Yeah!!! I messed up too… and you all did mess up in your marriages as well.
Anas: Speak for yourself, brother.
Junaid: Again, as I was saying… she caught me red-handed and confronted me… but I couldn’t deny it. Because the evidence was clear, she was so heartbroken that she had to go into labor that day, and I lost my son and I almost lost her as well. And I love her so much. Ever since then, I promised never to cheat again, and even if I get tempted, I will come right home immediately and demand forgiveness. The least I could do for her is to be faithful… but I wasn’t. [Sadly lowers his head]
Jamiu: I wish I could make a joke out of this too… but I can’t… it’s really sad… and here you are, blessed with four beautiful children.
Junaid: Yeah… I’m grateful for that… but kai… we men easily get tempted oo… those yan#sh and bouncing boo#bs… it…
Anas: It’s okay! I thought we were here to heal ourselves…
Junaid: Yeah… right.
Jamil: Well… I love my wife so much… at first the love faded, but I still didn’t cheat because I am not… I mean, I’m not that good in bed…
Junaid: Ohhhhhhhhh!!!
Anas and Jamiu: Junaid!! You’ve got a big problem ooo.
Junaid: Sorry… I couldn’t help it… carry on, please.
Jamil: The day you dare try to use my weakness against me! Not even your father will save you.
Junaid: Drop that one jor… you are my brother… we are safe… this is why we need to have conversations like this to help one another. You can come to me for something like that… you won’t regret it.
Jamiu: So you want to teach him how to perform?
Anas: [Chuckles loudly] You guys won’t kill a person… Jamil, please carry on.
Jamil: So, as I was saying… even if I wanted to cheat, I can’t… because I haven’t satisfied her yet… but now I’m doing great. In fact, she calls me anytime, any day, and I give my best, but suddenly my love for her increases.
Jamiu and Junaid: Yeah… we noticed.
Jamil: You do?
Jamiu: Absolutely… you cook for her, even bathe the kids like Anas does. Take them to school and won’t stop kissing her in front of the entire family… like bro, chill out.
Jamil: Well, I smell jealousy here oo. Abeg, leave us alone… we are enjoying my marriage, and that’s all that matters.
Anas: Well… then I am happy for you. So, Abu twins… I hope you are hearing from the twins… they would have turned into big boys and girls.
Jamiu: Well… I tried to see them myself, but she had traveled to Port Harcourt, remarried there, and took my kids with her… I tried to get full custody but I lost the case… I just didn’t want to tell you guys. She wouldn’t let me see them except through phone calls, but I ensured to send their school fees and other stuff sha. Taiye and Kehinde are now in higher institution… polytechnic.
Jamil: Congratulations, man… ahhh… very soon, you are to become a grandparent.
Junaid: Congratulations. So far, you have accepted to speak with them… with them, they will come see you.
Jamiu: I begged her to at least let me have their contact, but she ignored my calls and messages… I guess she is happy in her new marriage.
Anas: And I’m happy for her as well… congratulations, my brother… you are truly blessed.
Jamil: [Phone rings] Uh… excuse me, please. [Picks up the call] Hello, baby? No… I’m not at the office… I came to visit Abu twins… okay, okay, I’m on my way now… give me 10 minutes… I love you so much, baby… I promise I won’t keep you waiting, okay, my love…
[The rest glance at each other]
Jamil: See you soon. [Cuts the call and jumps to his feet] I’m sorry, guys, but I really need to leave. It’s urgent, my wife is at my office waiting for me… I don’t want to keep her waiting.
Junaid: Are you doing it in the office as well? Just go home and do it now! You guys are disgusting!
Anas: [Weirdly glances at him] What’s your problem?
Junaid: We can do it anywhere we like… that’s why we are legally married! See you at home… and uhmm… Jamiu… feel free to express yourself better to them. I promise not to be left out… alright, bye. [Races out of the office]
Junaid: [Chuckles] Ehhhnnn… finished, man… [About to speak, then notices their deadly stare] What?
Jamiu: You need deliverance!
Anas: You need rukiyah with ten alfas.
Jamiu: Well, we need nine now since we already have you.
Anas: I am not an alfa or whatever you call it.
Junaid: So you want to deny your identity?
Anas: What? Which identity isn’t mine! Never call me that again, please… I am me, not “alfa” or whatever you called it. The name is Abu Khalid.
Junaid: Always the one setting boundaries… Anyways… it’s nice talking to y’all. I also need to take my leave. Obviously, my presence isn’t needed anymore.
Jamiu: Yeah… please leave.
Anas: See you at home, brother… my regards to your workers, they are really trying.
Junaid: You no well, I swear… Anyways, brothers, one love, my gees! [Hits his chest with his fist] Will always got your back. [Exchanges handshake] See you at home. [Shuts the door]
Jamiu: [Sighs heavily and rests his back] Where did we find this man?
Anas: The real question is… what did mum eat when she was pregnant with him? It’s really getting out of hand.
Jamiu: Wait! Abi, is he taking something?
Anas: [Pauses, then speaks] Naaaa… he can’t! Or does he? [Shakes his head] Naaaa…
Jamiu: Naaaa… he won’t! He won’t! He can’t forget the old days…
Anas: Me neither… Dad was really a tough man back then, unlike now…
Jamiu: Yeah. [Smiles] Now it’s memories… Well… so! You are left, because on norms, you are always the first to leave such gatherings.
Anas: That’s true. [Smiles] But I was the one that made this gathering happen. I went to their offices to come here for you…
Jamiu: But why?
Anas: Because you need us? You’ve been down for a few years and have been trying to get the chance for a moment like this… but you know… you are my elder, and it’s kind of hard to sit you down. So, alhamdulilah, I came up with this plan to finally have this day, alhamdulilah.
Jamiu: [Warm smile, rubs his face] Well… thank you. That really means a lot… that I am being noticed in the house… thank you.
Anas: So… do you need help? Financially? I mean, you have a lot of responsibilities and you quit your job to start this business…
Jamiu: No! I can’t take money from you! From my younger one… no! I should be doing that right now… uh! This is so embarrassing!
Anas: Embarrassed for what? I am your brother.
Jamiu: No!!!! Please, I will be fine! Okay? I really appreciate your help… but I can handle this on my own. If I don’t have a brother, of course I will sort myself out.
Anas: Alhamdulilah… but you do! Which you should be grateful for… because I’m grateful to have you as my brother, and I won’t watch you helpless like this… we should always have each other’s back. Feel free with me… talk to me… how much do you need?
Jamiu: I can’t inconvenience you! No!
Anas: No, you are not. Do you trust me? You are safe with me… I promise you.
Jamiu: [Getting emotional but holding it in] Kai… Anas! I never imagined you would be there for me like this… I was somehow mean to you back then… and here you are holding my hands…
Anas: Come. [Stands and gives him a hug as he sobs silently] It’s okay! We are humans… [Lets go and they return to their seats]
Jamiu: [Sniffs and clears his throat] I can’t believe I’m saying this to you… Last year, I sold my lands that I wanted to build my house on… I was suffering under that company. No promotion, just work!!! Given peanut salary. So, I took the risk and was able to gather 3.2 million naira and started this business… but the gain isn’t enough to take care of my entire family, my seven children, and wife. I even regret marrying again… but the deed had been done… and I want to ensure my kids with Zainab never lack anything. [Wipes his tears]
Anas: How much do you need?
Jamiu: Ehn?
Anas: Name it!
Jamiu: No!!
Anas: Bro, please now! Why prolong this matter? Ahba!
Jamiu: 5 million naira.
Anas: Are you sure? Is that all?
Jamiu: [Shocked] Can you afford it?